I’m back. I never really left though

I’ve been very sporadic on posting here lately and that has somewhat reflected my life lately. In all honestly part of me struggles with whether this was still the best medium for me to somewhat anonymously document my health and fitness journey (if you want to call it that).

For some context around this time last year my wife and I suffered a second trimester miscarriage of twins. This was following an early trimester miscarriage and I didn’t realize until recently how that affected me. In fact up until recently I probably would have told you it didn’t have much of an impact.

Looking back with eyes wide open I can see that I suffered from some classic signs of depression, not finding joy in normally joyful activities, loss of energy and fatigue, and weight gain. These were all gradual happening and it wasn’t until recently when I started to pull out of that I even realized I was in it. Kind of like slowly sinking in water.

Currently my wife is pregnant again and to see we were and are apprehensive is an understatement. While we already have two great kids we always felt a third would complete our family. We are into the second trimester and so far everything looks good. I realize now during this time I have dropped my frequency of training, been stress eating, and allowed things to get in the way of my jiu jitsu training. As a result my weight is up and my cardio is in the toilet.

During all of this I am in my last semester of my masters program and working around 60 hours a week to top it off.

So here’s to an optimistic journey to better health and fitness.

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